The message being sent to me is very clear. I feel very strongly that sharing what is happening to me could change the awareness level for other artists and potentially help them avoid a similar fate. Scott Borchetta told my team that they’ll allow me to use my music only if I do these things: If I agree to not re-record copycat versions of my songs next year (which is something I’m both legally allowed to do and looking forward to) and also told my team that I need to stop talking about him and Scooter Braun. Scott and Scooter have declined the use of my older music or performance footage for this project, even though there is no mention of either of them or Big Machine Records anywhere in the film. Additionally - and this isn’t the way I had planned on telling you this news - Netflix has created a documentary about my life for the past few years. Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun have now said that I’m not allowed to perform my old songs on television because they claim that would be re-recording my music before I’m allowed to next year. I’ve been planning to perform a medley of my hits throughout the decade on the show. Guys - It’s been announced recently that the American Music Awards will be honoring me with the Artist of the Decade Award at this year’s ceremony. The story of my last year does not end here… but this is for another post. But I was strong enough to deal with everything and do my job, prepare for exams and final exam and finish my thesis work so I got my master degree. I panicked what the hell will happen if I fail in the finish line. Deadline was the last day of this may and I had nothing at the first week of may. The courses went well but thesis work not. I got back on my feets and continued fighting. So I’ve put my shit together and finished every courses I had the chance to and a changed the topic of my thesis work. I missed the courses, studying, everything. I just worked and after work I lived my life as normal adult people do.īut after a few weeks I’ve changed my mind somehow. So I gave up the courses, my thesis work, everything and I felt relieved. I was sad, angry, exhausted, I cried, I screamed, I drinked a lot (almost became an alcoholic) I had sleep disorders, so I had a total mental health breakdown.įor 2 weeks I was discussing my possibilities and their consequences and after a lot of consideration I decided to quit the university because a degree doesn’t worth a mental health breakdown. I felt like I can’t do this anymore, this has to stop. I could not manage them cause I had to work and for me work was in the first place. I had to choose a topic for my thesis, I had to start to write my thesis (define the problem, write a code, run it for millions of times, get meaningful results, analyze them, draw conclusions, read literature and write your thesis), complete courses on which we did not learn anything, we just got the projects and we had to deal with them at home with youtube etc with really short and strict deadlines. The problems started in the 3rd semester. The 1st and 2nd semester was great, I completed every course and I could work. So I decided not to give up and go further and got my master degree in physics. I had to solve my problems on my own since I was 15, I had to grow up early. I am a fighter and I am fighting until my last breath, no matter what. I am not that kind of person who gives up thing easily. I feel like I aged decades in those few years. But this lifestyle has affected my health very badly (for example after a month I just collapsed in the morning, my mood was like a ferris wheel and still it is). I’ve worked 60-80 hours a week (I slept only every second day for 3-4 hours) and attended classes at the university (in the evening) and I succesfully finished my studies and got my degree. I had 2 jobs at the same time and I also had to study to get my bachelor degree. After 3 years I had to start to work because the loan was not enough. Because of school I moved to another city hundreds of kilometers away from them.Īt the beginning I took the student loan to pay the fees and make both ends meet.
They did the best they could to support me until I started my studies at the university. One of the reasons why I have been inactive since last christmas is the university.